Sex Surrogates: A Clarification of Their Functions

Preface to the World Wide Web Version (Millennium Edition): This research was conducted during 1983 for my culminating project for my master’s degree at New York University, which was granted in February 1984. It has been cited often in the years since that time and remains the definitive research on the subject of what sex surrogates actually do in their therapeutic activities with clients in sex therapy.

As we enter the 21st Century, sex therapy utilizing the services of surrogates continues to be popular, largely because it is a very effective therapeutic modality. Still, too, does the public continue to have a fascination with surrogates and what they do, despite a temporary decline in the number of surrogates and therapists who worked with them in the early 1990s because of some of the reasons noted below. Despite these facts, little in-depth research has been conducted since I wrote the paper that has either corroborated or updated my findings or expanded on them, looking for changes in their practices. Because of the many requests for my study that I have received over the years and the continuing interest in my work in this area, I have decided to publish the original document in World Wide Web format for the benefit of everyone who has either a research or personal interest in sex surrogate therapy.

Nevertheless, because it was done in the early 1980s, it is essentially a snapshot of the practices of surrogates almost twenty years ago. Surrogate therapy has probably changed somewhat over the past two decades for several reasons. These changes need to be documented and incorporated into our collective knowledge about normative sexuality and how to address the various problems we have created or maintained around it.

Since 1983, the impact of AIDS has become a deep concern of both surrogates and therapists, as well as of the general public. That impact was not yet felt when I collected my data in 1983. Exactly how it has affected the work of surrogates remains to be studied. Certainly in the years immediately following my study when AIDS was mistakenly believed to be a strictly sexually transmitted disease, many surrogates, who in retrospect were not particularly at risk for HIV infection, stopped practicing or modified their practice as surrogates out of fear. Many therapists also stopped referring clients to surrogates out of fear of legal liability. As the reality of HIV infection has become better known (despite politically motivated efforts on all sides to enforce many misconceptions), surrogates who are mostly female working with heterosexual males are continuing to help clients function better sexually while promoting responsible sexual behavior at all levels. Little or no research exists, as far as I know, that has investigated how gay male surrogates, who worked mostly with gay male clients in the 1980s, have changed their practice.

Since the 1980s, also, women have become more aware of how surrogates might help them effectively deal with various sexual dysfunctions. Often female clients will ask their therapists, or seek out therapists who are open to the possibility, to find a male surrogate with whom they might work. Largely because of the sexual double standard that continues to operate in many, if not most, therapists, however, most clients of surrogates continue to be male. The degree to which women have begun to work with surrogates to solve their sexual problems, or who consider it a viable option, are questions that require additional research. In addition, the differences that may exist in the design of the therapy program itself and how a female client might work with a surrogate, as compared to how males work with surrogates, is a research topic that remains open. To my knowledge, heterosexual male surrogates remain the rarest of sex surrogates, as in the early 1980s.

The most troubling aspect of research on sex surrogates to me is something I alluded to in my paper below that I think has become more serious. Yet, it s just an impression that has yet to be verified by any research. I suspect that there are many more surrogates working out there, independently trained by varying standards by the therapists with whom they may be working, who are both isolated from other surrogates and from researchers. This leaves them unaware of the most recent knowledge and advances in the field, because rarely are therapists trained in working with surrogates. It also deprives us of the knowledge gained from experience that these hidden surrogates may have learned. SexQuest/The Sex Institute in New York City tries to be available to help maintain contact among those actively participating in this profession.

I invite the reader s participation in the discussion through comments or questions via e-mail. If you know of additional sources of information, books, or articles not mentioned or cited in this article, I would also appreciate knowing about them. Eventually, I plan to continue this research (when I recover from getting my doctorate). Surrogates interested in becoming a part of the Surrogates Network of the Eastern Surrogates Association (ESA) and the International Professional Surrogates Association (IPSA) are also invited to contact me at SexQuest/The Sex Institute at the link above. If, after reading this article, you think you might be interested in working with a therapist who works with surrogates, contact IPSA, whose link you will find later in this article.

Raymond J. Noonan, Ph.D.
December 2, 1995/January 1, 2000
Raymond J. Noonan, Ph.D.
SexQuest/The Sex Institute, NYC
© 1984, 1995-2002 Raymond J. Noonan, Ph.D.

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